I realize you probably don’t get many letters from people my age but I decided it couldn’t hurt to try. Just because I’m a 47-year-old wife and mother of five doesn’t mean I don’t want something for Christmas. So I’m sending you my list and asking that you overlook my age and please make a stop at my house this year.
I’ll leave the back door unlocked, just be careful not to trip over my husband’s golf clubs or my son’s dirt-bike boots. Oh, and if the dog growls at you, his name is Murphy, and he can easily be bought with food. In fact, if your milk and cookies are gone there’s a good chance he ate them.
By the way, I have been a very good wife and mother this year. Not perfect, but certainly good enough to get a few small things for Christmas, so here’s my list:
1. Clean the house. Please start in the kitchen and work your way to the back. Scrub all the walls, clean the carpets, and sanitize all the bathrooms with good-smelling stuff. Wash all the laundry, do the ironing, and don’t forget to turn the dishwasher on before you leave.
2. Cook Christmas dinner. I love having everyone over, but by the time I’ve cooked enough food to feed them all I’m zapped. By the way, don’t bring pizza, no matter what my boys tell you or offer to pay you. Stick with traditional turkey and dressing.
3. Wrap gifts and place them under the tree. I love pretty packages but I don’t have the time or patience to do all that wrapping. People always know my gifts because they look like a 2-year-old wrapped them.
4. Come back and clean up. Take down the decorations and put them in storage. Return the gifts that didn’t fit or my kids didn’t like.
I know after you read this you may think, “There is no way I can do all that in one night!” Well, guess what? Moms across Kentucky do that and more every day. Thanks for making my Christmas wishes come true!