Resolutions For Mom

I think resolutions are more fun when you can make them for someone else. This year I’ve decided to make a Top Ten list for my sons. If I could make a wish list, it would look something like this:

Dear Mom,

Your sons all got together and came up with the following resolutions for 2006:

1. Do all science projects at least a week ahead of time.

2. Put at least a small percentage of my dirty socks and underwear in the clothes hamper.

3. Limit body noises to the privacy of my room.

4. Work as hard for our teachers as we do for our coach.

5. When our aunt serves oyster casserole at Thanksgiving and Christmas, we will not gag or use the words “gross” or “yuck.”

6. Not tear up the yard with our dirt bikes or truck wheels, and refrain from trying to pop wheelies on the lawn mower.

7. Not ask for any birthday or Christmas presents that require you to take out a loan at the bank.

8. Not whine and complain when you ask us to unload the dishwasher or hang out the laundry, and we definitely will not make the statement ever again that those jobs are “girl jobs.” (That soap tasted awful!)

9. Keep all our sports equipment put up and out of your way so that you don’t trip over a golf club and sprain your ankle like last year.

10. Not blow a fog horn in your bathroom window or do anything else that will cause you to wet your pants.

What are the odds of my boys keeping these resolutions? Probably not very good, but a mother can dream, can’t she?